Well, when you go to bed at 4 am, sleeping until noon is not unheard of. Of course, when you work my hours, by the time midnight comes around and you get done with work, that's actually like 6 pm, "Jon Time."
I actually found myself wake late this morning, shortly before my noon alarm, to the sound of the phone ringing. Scott was calling from a few blocks away on campus; he was in town and visiting his sister. He was interested in stopping by. I of course happily, though still slightly groggy, accepted. Fifteen minutes later, I was up and about and talking with Scott. When I don't really have much of a social life, a visit from my best friend (who resides an hour north of the city) is exciting news!
We talked for a bit, and then headed out to CompUSA. Master of Orion III came out this weekend! Scott was extremely excited to finally be able to grab a copy. Ironically, we got there just in time for him to purchase the last copy on the shelf! How's that for timing!... My guess is that he spent much of the rest of the day playing it. ...And I hear it's actually supposed to be an excellent successor to it's previous incarnation!....
Oh, yeah, on another note, Scott's actually able to play that game during the day, because his company let him go. So, in other words, he is now among the ranks of the unemployed. Granted I'm not actually unemployed myself persay, but, I'm actually pretty close to it with the hours I'm getting lately.... [sigh]. .... One employer put it quite eloquently when she kindly wrote to say there were no openings at her company: "...It's an employer's market right now; there's more firing and lay-offs right now than hiring, across the board. Sorry I can't be of more help. I wish you the best of luck!..."
Oh, well, at least I'm certainly not alone in my frustrations on the job front right now. That's comforting anyway.
There's no Most Interesting Resume Recipient of the Day today. I took some time off from that and enjoyed Scott's company, and then... umm.... being lazy. ... [chuckle]. Hey, I think I earned a day for myself, don't you think? ...[smile]. Tomarrow, it's back to the boards, a little drawing (for a client), some creative website stuff.... and probably a few other smaller projects. .... Ah, ...the life of someone hoping for a better life.
Oh, and on a sad, unrelated note, goodby Mr. Rogers. Rest in peace. And thank you for the childhood memories.
Have a good Friday and weekend all. Until the next post,
You know, I've been giving some thought lately to marketing my art skills.... You know, like actually becoming a viable small business -- aka, creating and selling my artwork.
I already have gotten interest in perhaps my first commissioned peice since graduation. I wonder if there might be call for more of that, on a broader scale? I've certainly got the skills. I've just been a little reluctant. Do you think anyone would take me seriously?... I mean, to make it worthwhile?
Yes, you read that right. Today, among the many resumes I sent out, I sent one to Miller Park to the Milwaukee Brewers Public Relations Office... Either I'm getting desperate, or I really am a hardcore Brew Crew fan! I think it's probably much more the latter, but hey.... I guess, maybe I am getting just a wee bit desperate.... [chuckle].
Well, it finally happened.... I absent-mindedly deleted a rather interesting post when I wrote the previous one.... all about my parents visit this weekend... [sigh]. Yes, indeed, computers are only as smart as thier human operators.... and I guess I wasn't all that smart. Oh, well. Quick recap:
This past weekend, my parents came down for a visit to see my sister's college production of "The Diary of Anne Frank." She was directing it -- her Senior directorial debut I suppose you could say. Of course though, they also had a little time to visit with me too, and we got in a lot of wonderful chatting time, some wonderful advice and 'career' suggestions from my father, a delicious belated 'birthday meal' out to Applebees, and, oh, did I say some wonderful chatting time?! ... [grin].
It's been about two years or so since my parents have been able to come down from Minnesota to visit. Family matters prohibited them from doing so during that time. I suppose you could say, that was why this weekend was so special. As it is, I rarely get to see them in person, since about 300-some miles of direct interstate seperates them up in the Twin Cities, and me down here in Milwaukee. Thank God, though, for the wonders of human creativity -- You just gotta love instant messaging! ... [chuckle].
It was a good weekend though, well worth taking a break from the rigors of job-hunting, and just relaxing among family.... and listening to a hyper-excited sister who can't stop talking about getting married! Oh, well, I guess one can't have everything. [lol]
(... It probably doesn't help that I room with her fiance, does it? ... [chuckle]).
Have a great Tuesday, keep smiling, and until next time,
I've noticed a lot of visitors coming through lately from fellow blogger, Martin Wright's, weblog, "Where The Hell Did My Job Go." So, I wanted to drop a friendly thank you, to both him, as well as the readers that have linked from his blog. I've enjoyed the comments sent my way, as well as the readership. Many thanks to all of you. ... [warm smile]
In true blogging form, if you have not done so yet, please feel free to check out his musings as well. Afterall, us career job-seekers must look out for one another right? He's looking for a job. I'm looking for a job. Hey, if you hear anything let us know. ... [smile].
I'll catch you all with my next post. But, until then, enjoy the musings!
This evening, Saturday evening, I went to see my sister's play at my old college. As a senior this year, she is currently directing a production of "The Diary of Anne Frank."
I may comment about the play itself later, but this evening, I wanted to share with you the director's note which she included in the program. I thought it was worth musing upon for a number of reasons....
"The past couple of years in America, and in this world, we have seen events that no one wishes to see. World's crumble and disaster strikes; nations are attacked and innocent people are killed. In an instant, anger and hatred can change a life, and in turn, the world. But amidst all this pain and loss, something stands stronger than anything else, and that is hope. No one can tell you not to hope. They can take everything you own. They can destroy the things most important to you, but no one can take away your hope....
This is a story that needs to be told. It's about the part in every one of us that cries out to be heard, desperately clinging to hope as things change. It speaks to the heart that has felt pain or loss, and serves as inspiration to all who are suffering or hurting. It lets them know that they are not alone and reminds them to hold onto hope, knowing that someone bigger and stronger is in control."
After I read that director's statement, it kind of got me to thinking. This is definitely a play for our times.... my times.
As political talk in the United States focuses on an armed conflict that some are for and some are against, we all cling to the hope that drastic and deadly measures do not have to become commonplace. Those of us opposing a war, cling to the hope that our leaders do not take our country into that frey for the wrong reasons. Those of us in support of an armed conflict cling to the hope that it will be a successful one, and it will bring an end to the injustices that have been allowed to linger. We wonder how the course of events happening, and yet to happen, will play out in God's Great Plan. We hope, and cling to the trust that whatever is yet to befall the word, it will ultimately be for the best. In the end, we all, like Anne Frank, hope for better things.
But, personally, I don't like to be all that political of a person. I know where I stand, and beyond that... I struggle to trust what I do not know. I struggle, like Anne, to ask questions I couldn't possibily answer. And, why do I do this?.... because I'm human, and hope is all I know.
But, my sister's statement kind of rang true in my own personal life as well. My frustration over my struggles to find a good job seem to mount as the days go by.... and I hope and trust, praying that I have the patience and strength to continue to pursue what thus far appears to be a losing battle. Part of me knows that job... that career... is out there. It just grows tired of the long and drawn-out journey.
Then there's the ramifications of finding that job. How long can I last in my current situation? How long can I stretch things out before they snap and I find myself at the end of the rope? How long will it be before I can breathe more easily again? How long must I yet wait? .... Pray for a heart that knows trust, right?
Then, part of me is at the point where I don't want to take this journey alone. Part of me looks to share those struggles, and joys, with the woman out there wondering this very same thing. Somewhere out there, that woman and I will meet.... But how long must the wait be? .... Pray for patience, right?
Where will life lead? How long must the various journeys take? When will I find answers? How long must I hope and dream? How strong must my patience and perseverence be?
Hope.... It's such a small word -- one syllable; four letters. But it's a very deceptive word, for in that short little word is packed more questions than could ever be asked... And in that one little word, are more ideas and thoughts to muse on than could ever be imagined. And why does that word exist?.... Because we all, each and every one of us, are human. Hope is all we know.
Until next time, ponder that little word in your life. Don't lose sight of it. That's our only real weapon in life; Wield it well.
There's one thing that really annoys me about the acting world..... the 'aspiring actors' and 'actresses'.
There are two kinds of actors, those that have the talent, the drive, and the motivation to seek out and follow their dreams, and do so with moral standards..... and then there are those that claim to be of this profession, when all they seek is attention, and, most often, of a suggestive nature.
So, who would you say is the actor?..... Girl #1 who has a passion and a love for the theatre, and is making strides to pursue that, or Girl #2 who has a webcam, loves to 'meet new people', and wants to be an 'aspiring actor'? Who do you think is going to make it farther as a professional actor?
My money is on Girl #1. Girl #2 will probably just continue to say she is an actor for years, and hardly see any fruits of it.
See, last night, just for the heck of it, I hopped onto Yahoo (chat) and decided to seek out some intelligent conversation with others. I just felt in the conversational mood. I ended up finding some very engaging discussions, and came across some very interesting people. However, I also came across dozens and dozens of individuals just like Girl #2. I did not engage any of them in conversation, but just scanning their profiles in the rooms, I deduced one thing..... There will be a LOT of severely disspointed people out there who will never get beyond the stage of being an 'aspiring actor or actress". Their internet presence may be a popular 'personality', but it will always be under the gaze of very unsavory individuals. Attractive, does not necessarily mean talented.
Girl #1 (who for the sake of respect I shall hearby refer to by her real name -- Lana Joy) is smart. She's following her dreams, actually has talent, and knows when and where to employ it. I respect her for that, and wish her much success in this challenging field that professional acting is. Her heart is in the right place.
Unfortunately, actors and aspiring actors, like Lana, are the minority out there. Most of those who say they are 'aspiring actors' are nothing more than attention-getters who will sadly fizzle out of attention when the fad grows old. Their careers are pretty much in a rut from the get-go. They really have very little future as a successful actor or actress.
So, why do I write about 'aspiring actors'? ....Well, to prove a point. Don't be fooled when someone tells you they are an actor, or just aspire to be one, and don't allow looks to guide your opinion. Some of the more attractive people may horrendous actors.... and some of the less attractive people end up being the most brilliant acting talents. Look further into what they say and ask yourself, "Do they have passion.... drive, motivations, talent.... and are they destined to follow up on all that.... or are they likely to just sit back and garner unsavory attention?" .... Are they serious about joining the ranks of the insane whose passion and dedication seems limitless.... or are they just one of those millions of 'aspiree's' out there who probably don't even have the slightest clue how to be successful at this art.
Some of you may say of me, "So, Jon, when's YOUR next big gig." .... My answer: "Soon.... very soon." Right now I may have to put my passion for acting temporarily on the back burner (as I seek to wrap up other more pressing matters in life first), but the truth is, as soon as I am able, I aim to fall right back into that same category as Girl #1. Call it a sabatical -- a time to recharge my batteries. Afterall, I am of the opinion that a successful career in acting does not need to be rushed.... It needs to be methodically pursued. And anyone willing to dedicate themselves to THAT will slowly find success in this business.
Well, I'll certainly have to say, February 18 is always a welcome day. It brings with it the passing of the baton, and a new adjustment to the number of years I have been blessed with life. .... And, as far as I am concerned, life is perhaps the second-best blessing there could ever be (Second only to the promise of heaven)!
So, with the hours that today brings, and will yet bring, I am thankful that, today, I turn 23 years of age!
Well, I guess I missed posting regarding this past weekend. Oh, well, better late than never right? [grin]
Friday was one of those 'on-call' days at work, which naturally I hate with a passion. However, the day was not all bad though, since, with the free time, I ran a few errands, and continued to hit the streets in my job search. As it just so happened, I was able to pick up a few applications that might serve as a temporary second job, seek out a few more places to drop off my resume, and, as luck would have it, even procure an interview.
On a whim, I decided to stop in the IT office of the staffing agency that I interviewed (probably unsuccessfully) with on Thursday regarding general jobs. The IT office, however, was the same agency, different building. I went up, and asked to set up an interview, and ended up getting an impromtu interview with just the guy I was hoping to talk to. Granted, it still sounded like a long-shot to find a graphics-related, or creative job through them, but I appreciated the cordial opprtunity. Job searching is all about making the contacts, and that I did. I felt a little better about my search after the meeting, even if only for the fact that I did make another contact. ...[smile]
Saturday was a slow day until the evening. Matt and Sara invited me and another friend to get together with them and do something that evening. I have not seen either of them since their wedding in early summer 2002, so I jumped at the chance. Sara is expecting and probably will have a new daughter in somewhere around five weeks, so essentially, the five of us, had a fun evening (I could tell because Sara was noting how the baby was kicking.... must have been having fun too.... [chuckle]...)
For dinner we stopped a neat little place called "Organ Piper Pizza". For those of you familiar with the Milwaukee area, that's a family-style pizza restaurant where not only is the delicious pizza the draw, but so is the fact that there is an old-fashioned organ which is played while you eat! Now how's that for unique!
After dinner, we ended up renting a DVD at Blockbuster and heading out to Matt and Sara's place to watch it. The chosen film was, "Ocean's Eleven." Now, I'd never seen it before, but in the end was glad that I did. I would liken it to "The Sting", starring Robert Redford. There are a lot of twists and a VERY cleverly written plot as eleven individuals attempt to rob three Las Vegas casinos, while, at the same time, the ring-leader attempts to repay a previous injustice and steal back the girl. It was an excellent movie, and, honestly, one that I think will go onto my list of favorites. If you haven't seen it, I certainly recommend it.... Great flick!
Sunday was a slow day.... Not a lot happening. I used the day to take care of a number of the on-going projects that I always have, so I guess it was a semi-productive day, but nothing too special. Then, Monday, it was back to work again.....
Oh, there was one thing interesting about Monday though.... Before I went into work, I watched the taped copy of "The Music Man" that aired on Sunday. I think I have a new favorite musical! The lyrics were catchy, and the acting not bad (for a musical).... Now THAT would have been fun to be part of! ... [grin]!
...And, well, that was my weekend. Enjoyable, and definitely worth noting.
But, the time has come to move on into the week. I'll catch you all with my next post. Take care, and God bless!
Well, it's early morning on Friday. Usually I don't write here this early in a day, but, I like change.... [grin]....
I actually woke up today around 6:15 am, and couldn't get back to sleep. It was probably one of those cases where I slept more sound than I thought, and though I only got six hours of sleep or so, I'm really not finding myself to be all that tired. I probably will be by the end of the day though, but, hey, it's a Friday. I can sleep all I want when evening comes around.
Since I am here, however, perhaps I shall recap my interview yesterday. I can't say it ended up looking all that promising though. It was actually an interview with a well-known employment agency. I had called their IT branch (aka, the department of the agency that finds computer-related jobs) earlier, and was told that there were no graphics art positions, or the like, available. Figures. That usually seems to be what I always end up hearing.... But that still hasn't stopped me... [smile].
The IT branch told me to set up an appointment with the regular branch of the employment agency and just give it a go. That interview was the one I went to yesterday. Basically though, this main branch only finds placement with general office, data entry, or light industrial positions. Unfortunately, it appears I am not as qualified for those as I had thought. My placement test scores were coming up as 'basic' for the word processing skills (understandable), and unfortunately 'needs training' for the the data entry skills. I did not opt to seek out any light industrial jobs. Not really my cup of tea.
So, by the time I had left the interview, I had been able to determine that my marketable skills seem to have narrowed a bit. I do now have a second pair of eyes looking on the job front for me though, and that was the whole point of setting up the interview, but I really don't expect much of note to come from them. They do their job well, and I appreciate what they do, but I guess I really am most marketable in a creative field.... and that means a continued search from the same point I left off.
Today, Friday, I'll be running a few errands.... that is, if I am not needed at work, as is the likely result of my 'on-call' status. I tell you, I am really coming to hate these on-call days at work. Usually it means I'm not needed. THAT really annoys me!
....But, I guess, since I continue to try to look on the bright side of things, not working means today can be another day out hitting the pavement seeking a new job, or, at least a second one for the time being. I'll be heading into work anyway to pick up my much-needed paycheck, then dropping off a few resumes perhaps, picking up (and/or filling out) a few job applications, and hopefully stopping into the employment agency's IT office. Today may not net me anything on my paycheck, but at least I'll have been productive and gained further exposure for my job search.
Then, when all that 'traveling' around Milwaukee is done, I'll set to work emailing and mailing out a few resumes.... and then I'll take the rest of the day and enjoy a computer game or two. By then, I'm sure I'll have earned the free time.
So, anyway, that's the latest from my end of things, hot off the presses. I'll be back again later on, but, until then, take care, have a wonderful Friday, and an even more wonderful weekend!
Well, we actually got enough snow Tuesday night to actually make it look like winter around here. For once, we got enough snow that it'll be sticking around and not all be melted away by the next day.... Of course, with the snow, comes the frigid temperatures again,.... and man is it cold out!
I actually was out and about most of yesterday, since I had the day off, so I did get VERY cold. Even my gloves decided to give up fighting the cold.... (Needless-to-say, my fingers were NOT happy)! ....
...But, cold is cold, and it is was likely to return with snow sometime. Now it's here.... and NOW it's winter! Good or bad?... I don't know yet. I'll let you know. .... [grin].
Unfortunately, though, as much as I'd like to elaborate on the snow, the cold, or my adventures out in both yesterday, writing more in depth of my adventures shall have to wait until later on Thursday, or perhaps early Friday, depending on my schedule (you know, that typical 'on-call' schedule that B&N seems to think I am the perfect candidate for.). ....I have that interview tomarrow morning, so I've got to head off to bed very shortly and ensure that I am well rested for it. After that, who knows how my Thursday will play out.... But hey, that's the excitement of life right -- unpredictability. .... [smile]
Well, must go. Have a wonderful Thursday, and I'll write more about 'my adventures' later on the marrow.
Life presents many interesting challenges, kinks you might say. We make plans, we desire to follow dreams, and we set goals for ourselves, sometimes even seemingly unreachable goals. Most of us are driven to follow these goals and dreams we set forth, but, oftentimes life finds ways to turn the road into more of a twisted path than we plan. Of course, this isn't a bad thing as it makes the journey interesting, however, it is both amusing and intruiging to observe as we traverse that path, as well as very disppointing at times along the way.
Yesterday, at work (Barnes and Noble) I finally found out a final definative answer to my requests regarding my schedule. Now, I certainly hold nothing against the manager in charge of scheduling -- meaning I try not to hold a grudge. However, let's just say she was a little pointed in her reply, and that hurt somewhat. See, currently, I do not work weekends, as I have other personal priorities to attend to on Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately, since I have chosen not to work on those days, and would have thus created for myself an even more fluctuating work schedule where I am literally at the mercy of whatever hours my employer decides is best for them, I was told that I would pretty much, henseforth, be severely limited on weekday hours. Despite being hired, what's good for me, apparently is not for them.... so I suffer. Nice twist in the road huh.... [sarcastic chuckle].
I was also informed, quite pointedly as well, that becasue I have chosen not to be available to work in the cafe, possible hours that I could pick up are lost.... (and my manager seemed a bit disappointed at that). The reason I avoid that area is, personal, and I know my manager had a point, but, I was hired to work selling books (and that already includes a lot of possibilities right there.... floor, registers, music department, shelving, re-shelving, and so on -- plently of possible hours of work, which, to earn a paycheck, I am happy to do.). ....Also, I am near disgusted by the smell of coffee, and oddly, the aroma of coffee beans has been known to turn my stomach sometimes (I really don't know why). ... Like I say, valid personal reasons. Besides, I honestly could care less what a latte or frappachino is. I don't drink the stuff. Some people just dislike it immensely. I'm one of those people. My manager made it sound like I was being a poor emplyee with these restrictions. I don't plan to make excuses to her, so I just smiled, and nodded silently, knowing that she has just made my decision all the more final -- I plan to leave, effective as soon as my pending resume opportunities are confirmed.
But, I will be honest, working in retail has taught me a few things... for one.... don't work in retail unless you're willing to withstand ultimately employer-favorable practices. Sure, things look nice for the first month or two, but once you get settled in, you start to notice the little things only emplyees are akin to. And, though retail is the largest genre of work in the country, hours are extremely akin to fluctuation, aka, not a whole lot of ultimate 'job security'. There is often little opportunity to use any major skills for which you may be trained, and the daily routine often becomes hellishly mundane. Also, you're usually always on your feet, and your whole purpose of existance for the workplace is to directly make money for someone else (who is insanely rich already), while yourself, making nothing compared to the store profits you have personally obtained with your own salesperson skills.
In the flip-side, though, there are some wonderful people working in retail. You'll find the occassional excellent mangers who do go out of their way to help make the employee's job favorable (such as the assistant manager at my store). Also, there are some very intruiging co-workers I work with.... a few that I like quite a bit actually. Then, there's the element of the customer base. ...Hey, I've met some very interesting customers in my five or so months working at that store.... including at least two notable celebrities.
If you're an entirely people-oriented person who loves to sell things, hey, retail is perfect.... however if you're driven towards other things, such as the creative goals and dreams that I am, direct retail is probably not your gig. If so, you'll most likely lose interest after a few months. I've discovered that for myself. I guess I'd rather make use of my own skills on a more personal basis, rather than see my direct fruits of labor go into someone elses pocket. I'm just that way. I have this huge store of creativity welled up inside me, and it's all going to waste at work since I am unable to use it.
Maybe a creative field really is my ultimate destination. I hate waiting until I can explode that creativity into what I do. But, I guess I was working mostly at Barnes and Noble for the paycheck, and now, what already little paychecks were once 'suitable', have dried up beyond being near suitable, and my twisting path in life is telling me to move on before I shrivel up and waste away. Pretty good motivation, if you ask me. In acting terms, I've paid my dues there, time to move up in the world.... towards whatever the next step of 'up' is.
I have secured for myself some new interviews and such that could prove promising, but we shall see. The first of these is this coming Thursday. I am confident, ....especially since I know I could be standing on the threshold, for the first time, of being able to be driven, and NOT held back. ... And, that's honestly a pretty invigorating feeling!
But, for now, I must return to the reality of preparing for another day at my present work environment. Yet, yesterday allows me to focus more on the future, and perhaps that'll give me a little more drive for today!
Well, I'm up way later than I should be on a Saturday night, but hey, it was all well worth it I think....
I ended up playing three realistic seasons of a Major League Baseball simulation via the PC game Baseball Mogul 2003. Basically, it's a very detailed game that lets you manage and run the fate of everything related to a Major League Baseball team.... Of course, me being the diehard Milwaukee Brewers fan that I am, I chose the underdog. ...[grin].
So, 2002 was a bust -- just barely a fourth place finish in the NL Central Division. In 2003, the team made it to a second place finish in the division, and, in 2004.... well, let's just say that was a doozy of a year, overall. In the end, it came down to the Oakland Athletics fighting it out with the Milwaukee Brewers in the World Series, and though my Brew Crew lost four games to one, it was a real nail-biter. ...It's not easy to beat a powerhouse team that wins 128 games in a season and nearly sweeps the seasonal awards (aka, MVP, CY Young, and Rookie of the Year)!
But alas, tis only a computer game. In real life, my Milwaukee Brewers have been a bit of a disappointment for the past ten years -- real cellar-dwellers. But, I am still a diehard fan, and I hold out high hopes. Maybe things will turn around (with better management.... Hmmm, like me maybe?... [lol]...). Maybe 2004 will be their lucky year in real life too.... I doubt it... but I've got my fingers crossed anyway. .... [chuckle].
Well, tis enough fun computer game playing for me tonight. I'll see you all later upon the marrow. God's blessings, and have a wonderful Sunday!
You know, I seem to have a bad track record with relationship's of a deeper nature, aka, romantic.... Or, no, wait, better yet, I don't even HAVE a track record for romantic relationships.... I'm doomed to be single for quite a loooooong time. I actually get to watch as my friends around me get married and move on to start their own families.
You know what's funny though, this seems to be a pattern with roomates I have had since going off to college nearly five years back. First there was Jonny, my roomate of two years in college. Now he's married his college sweetheart, Kimmy, and they're happily expecting their first child sometime in the next two weeks..... Then there's Matt and Sara; some of you know of Matt and Sara already [lol]..... And now, there's Noah, my current roomate, and his new fiance -- my sister Rachel. ...
Hey, and that's just my list of roomates thus far.... Add in my good friend from college, Bethany, who is now married nearly a year...... and then add in my friend Kim, my only 'ex', who is now happily married to my sister's only ex.... And this list doesn't even take into account my other graduating classmates from college who have happily married!
AHHH.... My friends are becoming parents!!! .... AHHHHHH! ... [runs around waving his arms and screaming wildly in true Homer Simpson fashion].....
But, life goes on. It just starts to take different roads for some of us. Me, well, I still sit here on the road of life, Bachelor Avenue. Granted there are some things I like and perhaps even appreciate about being single, but then again, it feels like the time has come in my life to actually need the companionship of that certain someone. The question is, who is she, and how far have we yet to travel before we meet?
I ponder this often, but then the same answer comes to me from a higher and wiser voice, "The time is not yet right my child." .... It sure is a challenge accepting God's answer sometimes.
I look back on my life, my experiences with 'romantic friendships', and I see it leading to better things than it was then, but I still can't help wondering, why is patience in this matter so hard. .... Why does my heart long for it's other half, when I don't even know who that half belongs to yet? ...But, yet, everything in my past, has taught me to look toward the future. I know my other half is out there, and compared to everything I have learned before, it will all come together in the perfect combination that only this one woman will complete. Waiting is the hard part I guess.
Back in high school, there was this one quiet girl I had a crush on. She wasn't the most popular girl. She wasn't even outspoken. In fact, she wasn't really popular, and she wasn't outspoken. She was the quiet, simple one everyone else overlooked as they set their eyes on the popular and outspoken. It was, however, this girl that I noticed. Why, I don't really know, but, I did, and I developed a bit of a healthy crush on her..... It was this girl, Jessica, that accepted my nerve-wracking invitation to the "Prom" our senior year. It was Jessica who nearly died from annorexia, and, it was Jessica who I somehow felt compelled to want to send a get-well letter to when she was in the hospital near death. She recovered, but we never really really had the time to become close friends like I had hoped. When graduation rolled around, our two roads diverged. Despite my efforts, I have not heard from her since. I sincerely do hope she is well, and happy. Her life has been a hard one, but I hope a blessed one too.
In 1998 I went off to college. A year later, I found myself in a relationship.... a dating relationship, with a girl, Kim, who was a class behind me. Sadly, she seemed to want to follow a more worldly approach to the relationship, putting much more stock into the feelings (aka, the 'feeling' of being in love) than truely following a Christ-centered relationship. I wanted something deeper, and so couldn't reciprocate the feelings she was expressing towards me. We officially dated for a couple of months, but then the day came that she basically asked when we'd marry. I could not marry her, and so the decision, much to her dismay I'm sure, was agreed that we would have to cease 'dating'. We've been good friends since, and now she's happily married to the man who is perhaps her other half. I am truely happy for her. Everything worked out in the end.
Kim, though, was my only worldly experience with a dating relationship. I kick myself now for having allowed myself to be so nieve, but, on the other hand I am glad that I remained strong in the Lord, and learned what I truely wanted, and needed out of a deeper relationship.
I have not 'dated' since. I doubt I ever will again, in that way anyway. But I learned which road to take, and that has led me closer to where I am today.
But, Kim is not the last chapter in this story of a single guy waiting for his other half. No, there is a girl, whom I have referred to as Hannah previously. She transferred to my college from another in my Junior year. We became friends, but it would be a while before that friendship would grow to where it seems to be now. But, time has passed -- almost three years -- and I look back and wonder.... is this young woman whose Christ-centered goal in life I share; whose heart seeks Christ like mine; whose intelligent and often deep religious-themed conversations I long for; whose company is but a simple joy that makes my heart leap when the opportunity presents itself; whose simple beauty and dedicated friendship to many intruiges me; whose heart and soul is like none other I have met.... Is she but a close friend who, like my other friends, will take a different road in life?... Or, is she -- will she be -- something more?
Lately, as I muse upon my younger sister being the first of the six siblings in my family to wed, I wonder when my time will come. Is Hannah's busy schedule right now an obstacle, or a deterant? Is Hannah to remain that close friend now, but take a different road later? Or am I just wishing on a star -- a star whose distance will remain great.
...Then of course, my musing always comes back to one simple voice saying, "the time is not yet right my child.... The time is not yet right." ... Patience. It takes a lot of patience, to learn patience, but in the end, it will have been worth it. I suppose there is no harm musing for the time being though... The time will come, and when it does, I will know that the time for musing has ended.
Life... It can be so intruiging at times. I'm glad we have hindsight to help us look toward the future though. It makes the journey all the more worthwhile. ... [smile]... and it helps guide us as we travel down that road laid out before us. Maybe the journey is just begining... rather than ending. Maybe, I still have a lot to learn.... But hey, that's what life is for, right? [smile]
Well, the time has come to rest my fingers. I shall, once again, head off to bed, rest up, and then awake to a new day -- a new day full of more musing. Won't you join me?... Until then, however....
Sadly, I've been lacking motivation to write much here lately. Unfortunately most of my writing passion has gone into some very creative work on my online Star Trek PBeM. By the time I come around to posting here however, my fingers are too tired, and my mind is too sleepy. Not good for my blogging....
... But that'll change. Time to get my head a little lower out of the clouds. Instead of such a focus on my Star Trek sim, I'll use this weekend to enhance my personal site some.... add some new stuff, that sort of thing. I'm still hashing out some ideas, but you might see some intruiging new content sometime these next few days. ...Besides, I do have to be creative (I think it's my nature), and these two websites I manage are my crutch in allowing me to do so. Perhaps I just need to expand a little huh?.... [smile] Maybe I'll play around in Photoshop and come up with some silly new creation.... Oooooh, now that sounds like fun!!!
The Power of a Thankyou.
Today, Friday, I was scheduled on-call, and was told I was not needed at work and thus to not come in. Typical. I've learned that's just routine in the retail business. Little does Barnes and Noble know though.... next week Thursday, I have an interview with a notable local employment agency. B&N had their chance to keep me.... they passed up the opportunity (despite my gentle reminders).... Now a better-paying termporary job awaits just around the corner.... Like I said, 'head out of the clouds!'
But, anyway, enough about that end of things....
Since the day did not require me on the job, I ran a few errands. As I was grabbing the bus back from work (I went in to pick up my paycheck) I just barely missed my transfer bus. It was crossing the intersection as my first bus was pulling up to the stop light and dropping me off. Since it was quite cold outside, my heart sank as I foresaw me standing for the next 20+ minutes at the transfer stop waiting for the next bus.
Luckily, however, the bus driver must have seen my dejected expression through the front windshield of my first bus as he passed. Thankfully, he pulled up alongside the curb just past the intersection, and waited as I ran to catch up and board. As I got on, I politely thanked him for waiting, and was startled to have him reply and show his appreciation for me just thanking him. I normally try to make a habit of greeting the driver when I board a city bus, and thank him/her when I disembark. His appreciative comment caught me a little off guard. Are people really this thankless? What seems to me to be just a common courtesy, I guess is more often than not overlooked by most people. It's sad really.
To think that, as a society, we have become so engrossed in our own things that we overlook a simple hello directed towards someone -- like this busdriver -- who is making our lives easier. That's just sad.... Very sad. No wonder we're on the brink of two possible conflicts overseas.... we're too engrossed in other motivations to care as much about the others involved. Hmmm.... bad trend. Potentially bad indeed.
Quote for the Day:
"There are two ways of spreading the light: to be the candle or the mirror that refects it."
- Edith Wharton
Well, my musing mind has slowed to a standstill.... besides, there's one other thing I want to post about, so.... I must go. But, until then,....
Have a blessed weekend all, and don't forget the power of a simple thankyou.
This evening, I happened upon an interesting quote on a the weblog of a fellow blogger, Rebecca Blood, whose comments I enjoy reading. She quoted the following in her blog from an article written about singer/ songwriter Tom Petty in Rolling Stone ....
Now I can't say I'm a huge fan of Tom Petty, though I am familiar with his work.... It's the quote though that I totally and 100% agree with. See if you don't agree:
All anyone thinks about is money.... "You don't hear any more of, 'Hey, we did something creative and we turned a profit, how about that?' Everywhere we look, we want to make the most money possible. This is a dangerous, corrupt notion. That's where you see the advent of programming on the radio, and radio research, all these silly things. That has made pop music what it is today. Everything -- morals, truth -- is all going out the window in favor of profit.
"I don't think it's a good attitude in your life to feel that you have to be rich to have self-esteem. You know, I saw a billboard in New York I wish I had photographed. It was for the TNN network. It said three words against a patriotic background of red, white and blue - BIGGER, YOUNGER, RICHER. Now, I find that fascinating: 'Bigger, younger, richer.' This whole idea of being wealthy has gone too far. [....]
My top price is about sixty-five dollars, and I turn a very healthy profit on that; I make millions on the road. I see no reason to bring the price up, even though I have heard many an anxious promoter say, 'We could charge 150 bucks for this.' I would like to do this again and maybe come through and not leave a bad taste in people's mouths. I was at one of our gigs recently, and I was just stunned driving in that it cost thirty dollars to park your car. It's so wrong to say, 'OK, we've got them on the ticket and we've got them on the beer and we've got on everything else, let's get them on the damn parking.' You got to care about the person you're dealing with." _____________________
Way to go Tom Petty!
Sadly though, the same is true of the acting world, at least in the limelight of Hollywood. What happened to this thing called passion, huh? Where are the ACTORS? Where are the actual ARTISTS who are there for the work, not the fame and fortune? Is it a written rule that once you become rich and famous (while usually lacking talent), you are entitled to demand exhorbitant sums of money and countless selfish demands. Come on, people, morals, morals, MORALS. ... GET SOME!
But ok, stepping off my pedestal.... No wonder I appreciate the lives and work of those few who do work to buck the crowd. No wonder I admire Tom Hanks.... (to name one anyway)....
Hey, if you want to read the whole Tom Petty article, please feel free.... In fact, I actually recommend it. It's well worth the read, and, if your a regular reader here, I support his sentiments (most of them anyway).
But, alas, I could probably go on about things regarding this issue, but, tis late, and I'd rather not repetatively ramble. Besides, I just wanted to point you to some of Tom's comments. You know where I stand though, so I guess my point has been made. If you've got a passion, work at it, make it do-able, don't give up, but for Pete's sake, stay humble, honest, and polite about it too. ... And please, there's more to success than the money. If you find that success, don't become stupid.... Share your talent, not your fame.
Well, it's Tuesday now and I'm about to head off to work again, another eight hours probably standing behind the register at Barnes and Noble.... I wonder what kind of interesting people I'll meet today?.... [grins]
Monday was an average day, maybe a little less average if you consider that I was rather tired, and feeling slightly under the weather. I was quite cordial nonetheless, and apparently, successful at it.... I still can't understand though why my being that way is so odd to people. They always seem to compliment me, and then add that I should really be disgruntled and unhappy, especially considering my job. Sure I'm looking for a better job, but that doesn't mean I have to treat customers plainly and without a friendly smile (or a little bit of humor). Are there really that many people out there that don't know how to smile and make the best of ANY situation they are in? That baffles me. .... Maybe I really am odd.
Honestly though, the way I look at it, I'm proud to be odd. If my happy nature while at work throws people off-guard, then, hey, tough. I'd rather leave the customer with a bright attitude when they leave the store, then let them go on their merry way still grumpy. That is my goal there, even if my job, overall, is less than I like right now.
Smiles are contagious. I aim to infect as many people as I can!
Have a blessed day today, and hey, feel free to infect as many people as you'd like with smiles and a friendly attitude. That's a virus more people need to have!.... I'll see about writing something on a deeper level late this evening when I get back from work, but until then....
Well, I'm up a whole heck of a lot later than I should be this morning, but, I guess that's what happens when you're off having fun playing with cool new toys such as those that go by the name, Photoshop! .... Well, ok, I wasn't only playing with Photoshop 7 today, I was also playing with adding new pages and information to my Star Trek PBeM website. You know, I think there really is truth to the old saying, "If you have a passion for something, do it." .... My creative passion is certainly flowing through my veins quite nicely right about now....
.... Now, if only I could get paid to put this 'creative adrenaline' into good use, I'd be set!... Ha, well, that's the goal anyway. So far, no luck yet this weekend on the job front, but, then again, no one is at work on the weekends for me to call anyway.... [sarcastic chuckle].... Oh, well, it's back to the grindstone come Monday.... Until then, however, I'm loving this 'adrenaline' rush, and you can bet I'll be back at the fun imaginative / creative stuff later today, Sunday! ....
.... Ah, .... can't wait! But, I really should get to bed. Being up still at 5:15am on a Sunday morning is probably not a good thing. Hey, at least I'm not bored, or sucumbing to the disapointments of my present daily routine yet. That's gotta be a good thing at least. ... [grin].
Well, I'll catch you all later on today probably. Until then, have a blessed Sunday, and God's blessings (especially to the families of the Shuttle Columbia crew).
Ok, I'm very tired, and unfortunately, not going to post anything of too much not tonight.... Despite any outward appearance, it's strangely been a very tiring week. But, alas, I shall have to recap it tomarrow after I am well-rested, take care of a few errands, and before I sit down to play with my new toy -- Photoshop 7. (Which, by the way Dad, works like a charm!)...
So, until then, God bless, and have a wonderful evening. I see you all on th......
[Jon's head hits the keyboard and he is sound asleep].