"Retail: Driven, yet held back."


Life presents many interesting challenges, kinks you might say. We make plans, we desire to follow dreams, and we set goals for ourselves, sometimes even seemingly unreachable goals. Most of us are driven to follow these goals and dreams we set forth, but, oftentimes life finds ways to turn the road into more of a twisted path than we plan. Of course, this isn't a bad thing as it makes the journey interesting, however, it is both amusing and intruiging to observe as we traverse that path, as well as very disppointing at times along the way.

Yesterday, at work (Barnes and Noble) I finally found out a final definative answer to my requests regarding my schedule. Now, I certainly hold nothing against the manager in charge of scheduling -- meaning I try not to hold a grudge. However, let's just say she was a little pointed in her reply, and that hurt somewhat. See, currently, I do not work weekends, as I have other personal priorities to attend to on Saturdays and Sundays. Unfortunately, since I have chosen not to work on those days, and would have thus created for myself an even more fluctuating work schedule where I am literally at the mercy of whatever hours my employer decides is best for them, I was told that I would pretty much, henseforth, be severely limited on weekday hours. Despite being hired, what's good for me, apparently is not for them.... so I suffer. Nice twist in the road huh.... [sarcastic chuckle].

I was also informed, quite pointedly as well, that becasue I have chosen not to be available to work in the cafe, possible hours that I could pick up are lost.... (and my manager seemed a bit disappointed at that). The reason I avoid that area is, personal, and I know my manager had a point, but, I was hired to work selling books (and that already includes a lot of possibilities right there.... floor, registers, music department, shelving, re-shelving, and so on -- plently of possible hours of work, which, to earn a paycheck, I am happy to do.). ....Also, I am near disgusted by the smell of coffee, and oddly, the aroma of coffee beans has been known to turn my stomach sometimes (I really don't know why). ... Like I say, valid personal reasons. Besides, I honestly could care less what a latte or frappachino is. I don't drink the stuff. Some people just dislike it immensely. I'm one of those people. My manager made it sound like I was being a poor emplyee with these restrictions. I don't plan to make excuses to her, so I just smiled, and nodded silently, knowing that she has just made my decision all the more final -- I plan to leave, effective as soon as my pending resume opportunities are confirmed.

But, I will be honest, working in retail has taught me a few things... for one.... don't work in retail unless you're willing to withstand ultimately employer-favorable practices. Sure, things look nice for the first month or two, but once you get settled in, you start to notice the little things only emplyees are akin to. And, though retail is the largest genre of work in the country, hours are extremely akin to fluctuation, aka, not a whole lot of ultimate 'job security'. There is often little opportunity to use any major skills for which you may be trained, and the daily routine often becomes hellishly mundane. Also, you're usually always on your feet, and your whole purpose of existance for the workplace is to directly make money for someone else (who is insanely rich already), while yourself, making nothing compared to the store profits you have personally obtained with your own salesperson skills.

In the flip-side, though, there are some wonderful people working in retail. You'll find the occassional excellent mangers who do go out of their way to help make the employee's job favorable (such as the assistant manager at my store). Also, there are some very intruiging co-workers I work with.... a few that I like quite a bit actually. Then, there's the element of the customer base. ...Hey, I've met some very interesting customers in my five or so months working at that store.... including at least two notable celebrities.

If you're an entirely people-oriented person who loves to sell things, hey, retail is perfect.... however if you're driven towards other things, such as the creative goals and dreams that I am, direct retail is probably not your gig. If so, you'll most likely lose interest after a few months. I've discovered that for myself. I guess I'd rather make use of my own skills on a more personal basis, rather than see my direct fruits of labor go into someone elses pocket. I'm just that way. I have this huge store of creativity welled up inside me, and it's all going to waste at work since I am unable to use it.

Maybe a creative field really is my ultimate destination. I hate waiting until I can explode that creativity into what I do. But, I guess I was working mostly at Barnes and Noble for the paycheck, and now, what already little paychecks were once 'suitable', have dried up beyond being near suitable, and my twisting path in life is telling me to move on before I shrivel up and waste away. Pretty good motivation, if you ask me. In acting terms, I've paid my dues there, time to move up in the world.... towards whatever the next step of 'up' is.

I have secured for myself some new interviews and such that could prove promising, but we shall see. The first of these is this coming Thursday. I am confident, ....especially since I know I could be standing on the threshold, for the first time, of being able to be driven, and NOT held back. ... And, that's honestly a pretty invigorating feeling!

But, for now, I must return to the reality of preparing for another day at my present work environment. Yet, yesterday allows me to focus more on the future, and perhaps that'll give me a little more drive for today!

Until next time,

Your happily blogging friend,
-Jon
posted by Jon at 11:21 AM  I   I  0 comments