"Love Never Fails"

This morning has been a tough one for me: My Jenny let me go.

Tonight she chose to move on, to face her struggles alone -- To devote her heart to spiritual matters. And while I am extraordinarily saddened by her solitary choice, and will miss her presence in my life like nothing I have ever known, I'm happy for her. Despite my confused and painful tears, I'm happy she's finding peace.

In these past eight months, I've loved her with all my heart, all my dreams, and far more time and moments than I can even count. And there has never been a woman in my adult life more deserving of that love than my beautiful Jenny from Tennessee. She may not understand it at times, and she may not want to accept it, but she's a far greater woman than she thinks. Flawed, perfect, intelligent, foolish, strong, weak... she's all of these and more.

In the end, perhaps the Lord brought her into my life to show me how to love, to teach me renewed persistence in the face of struggle, to love beyond myself, and to want of nothing more than her own happiness and joy. Yeah, I've had my moments of success, and I've had moments of failure, but through it all, I've loved... I've hoped... And I've had faith. There may be greater "distance" between the two of us now, but my heart has never changed. I still love her. I will always love her.

A woman like Jenny is one in a million. They're hard to find, sometimes hard to love, but always worth fighting for. And you know what, I'd do it all over again!

My heart may have a hole for a while, but it will heal.

UPDATE: - (4:31 PM)
You know, I think the Lord *has* been teaching me persistence.

In her life, Jenny has never had someone fight for her. Her father was/is an alcoholic, never treated her like the blessing she was to him, belittled her, mocked her for her failings, and wasn't there for her when she needed him. He constantly argued with his wife, cheated, and set a poor example of the leadership a good father should display. As a result Jenny grew up with very low self-esteem. Then, as she got older, a string of not-so-great romantic relationships only helped to pound that self-worth into the ground even further. Needless to say, she's had a hard life.

But, despite all that, I still find myself irresistibly drawn to her. Something about Jenny has this unexplainable magnetic attraction on my heart. I can't help loving her. I can't avoid fighting for her. And I can't help longing for her to find that peace and joy her heart so desperately needs. Maybe God *does* create hearts like puzzle pieces, some fitting together by design. And maybe, just maybe, our design is still in the works.

As Jenny and I heal, and as we chip away at the confusion in our lives right now, I know and believe two things -- with a passion: Jenny *will* find her peace, and our hearts will never be all that far away from each other. Oh, sure, there may not be any "us" right now, there may never be again -- I can accept that -- but I do know this....

I will not give up on Jenny -- or her heart. I was not built to give up. I love her her for who she is -- faults, shortcomings, and all. And no matter what happens, love never fails.

-Jon
posted by Jon at 4:18 AM  I   I  0 comments